


I've Got You

by quinnovative



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex being a big sister, Also Maggie is very supportive, Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Kara, Hurt/Comfort, I meant to post this here before the episode, Kara really needs Alex, Maggie is basically another big sister, Panic Attacks, Sanvers - Freeform, but I forgot, sad kara, sister-centric, so now it's kind of late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-22 14:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9612647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnovative/pseuds/quinnovative
Summary: Prompt: Kara having to deal with a big personal issue and really needing Alex but doesn't go to her because she is spending all her time with Maggie. Alex eventually finds out and they have a big heart to heart // sort of tag to 2x10 and 2x11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I totally meant to post this here before tonight's episode (2x11) but I forgot, so now it's a little late. 
> 
> Anyway, Kara seems stressed. She needs a hug, and her sister and Maggie and friends. 
> 
> Warning: it get a little dark at some points
> 
> Okay, that's all. I'd love to hear your thoughts. :) (Also if someone wants to talk about tonight's episode please let me know because I have a lot of feelings)

It doesn’t start like _this_ , like the feeling that her lungs are full of water and her chest is heavy and thick with sludge and mud that threatens to drown her. It doesn’t start with a shaking core and trembling hands and breath that catches in her throat. It doesn’t start with omnipresence in her head and a racing heart that she can’t stop.

It starts small, one morning, when she wakes up and just doesn’t _feel_ like getting out of bed. When she wiggles out of the sheets and her feet meet the cool wood beneath her and she can’t help but send a lingering glance back at her mattress as she exits the bedroom and wishes she could go back, because things are getting so complicated and confusing in her life.

Everything is changing and she can’t keep up. Cat had told her to dive, but it feels more like she’s fallen into the ocean and each time she tries to swim forward she is battered by a wave and sent crashing back to the jagged shore where she’s pressed against rocks and her skin is torn.

She shakes it off for a while, suppresses her feelings under Supergirl fights and CatCo reports until the first time she can’t hold it in anymore. Tears brim her eyes at the end of a fight and she doesn’t even know why. She sulks away after letting the medical crew check her over, flying around a bit before she finds herself hovering outside of Alex’s apartment. She’s about to let herself in through the window when she hears a knock on the door, listens as Maggie and Alex’s voices mingle and a bag crinkles as Maggie sets takeout on the counter.

Kara bits her lip, lingers for another moment as she hears her sister’s laughter—it’s so light, so _happy_ and opposite from everything Kara’s been feeling. She can’t go in there, won’t let herself mess up Alex and Maggie’s evening with something so small and stupid. She turns around and shoots back out into the night, cape fluttering behind her.

“Supergirl out there?” Maggie asks, tilting her head in response to the glint of red she’d seen outside the window.

“Nah,” Alex says with a flick of her hand. “Earlier today Kara said she’d be busy with a report or something. It’s just you and me tonight.” She smiles at Maggie and Kara can hear it in her voice even from the skies.

She shoves the back of her hand across her cheeks, flying higher and higher until she can’t feel.

/

The second time it happens, is on a Friday, five days later.

Kara’s gotten a little better at reigning things in, holding tight when she’s in company and submerging herself in distraction when she’s alone. But Kara’s always felt better after talking to people, talking to _Alex,_ and their sister night has been the only thing keeping her upright as she’d trudged through the week. It’d kept her on her feet, kept her hands in loose fists to stop them from shaking, and kept the lump in her throat at bay just enough to mutter an intelligible response to Snapper the three times he’d yelled at her in the past day, to continue her work when James wouldn’t look her in the eye, to keep showing up at the DEO when she wants to avoid Mon-El, to keep her from sobbing every time she passes Cat’s office and sees it vacant of the woman because _that’s_ still a thing that rises inside her. It makes her feel a little bit okay each time Alex goes off with Maggie—when they eat together, snuggle together, and watch movies together and Kara’s alone.

It’s okay. It’s okay because Fridays are sister nights and those have always been sacred and stable and Kara will cling to anything that’s stable right now.

She enters the DEO around midday with a returned bounce in her walk, because maybe after so long things will feel a little normal again after tonight. She lets her feet carry her to Alex’s lab, smiling at the sight of her sister.

Kara knocks on the door frame, entering before she waits for a response and lifting herself to sit on the edge of a lab counter.

Alex looks at her expectantly.

Kara swings her legs, crossed at the ankles as she speaks. “Ready for sister night tonight?” she grins, she’s already picked out Alex’s favorite movies and food, has everything ready.

“Oh, shoot, Kara.” Alex rubs a hand across her forehead before resting it on the counter, the blonde’s heart sinks. She knows that look, that tone. “I completely forgot to tell you, I can’t make it tonight. Maggie has this ceremony, party thing at the precinct and I said I’d go with her. You don’t mind, right?”

Kara swallows the lump in her throat and shakes her head. This is fine. It’s _fine,_ she should not be so upset over it. “No. You—you have fun with Maggie.” She slips off her perch, needs to leave before the pain her chest and stomach and heart consumes her.

Alex grins. “Thanks.” She tugs Kara into a quick hug and it does nothing to loosen the ache swirling through her body. Instead it stings and Kara feels like she’s going to be sick. “You should call James or Winn or even Mon-El. I’m sure they’d like to hang out.”

Kara hasn’t told Alex that she hasn’t been talking to any of them.

“We’ll hang out next week,” Alex promises as she fuses over test tubes.  

The blonde just nods as she exits the room, she doesn’t trust her voice to produce any sound other than a sob. When Alex turns around, her sister is gone.

She spends the night circling the globe as fast as she can. She thinks of Krypton and dust and broken things.

/

After that, she loses count of how many times it happens; of the times she clutches a phone in her desperate, shaking hands only to meet her sister’s voicemail, of the canceled dinners and movies, of the times Kara’s own guilt and shyness grow into self-imposed shackles. Until her sister begins to feel like a stranger and Kara feels more alien than she ever has before.

It’s at its worst two weeks later on their sister night. Alex asks if Maggie can tag along. It splinters Kara’s plans of talking to Alex, but _of course_ she says yes because she loves her sister and she loves Maggie, and Alex has sacrificed so much for Kara that really, this shouldn’t be a big deal.

Kara shows up to Alex’s apartment hopeful that maybe the night would ease the tightness in her chest that had grown into a pervasive panic, to the feeling that she could snap and shatter at any moment and slip into some dark oblivion of anguish from which she would never return. She equates it to the Phantom Zone in her head.

It feels like she’s back there or maybe, she’s never left, not completely, and pieces of that wretched wasteland reside inside her.

She bundles her trembling hands in her coat pocket after knocking on the door and stepping inside to warm hugs and pizza and Netflix.

“Hey, Kara, help yourself to the pizza and join us on the couch,” Alex says. “We’re just about to turn something on.”

Kara nods and grabs a slice of pizza before sinking beneath a blanket. At the sight of food on her plate she’s reminded that she’s been forgetting to eat lately. She takes a bite and chews slowly, can’t seem to focus on whatever’s happening on the TV in front of her.

She’s trying to swallow a third bite, coax it down her throat when her stomach flips. She discards her plate, slice barely touched, on the coffee table and has to close her eyes.

When she opens them, Maggie and Alex are looking at her with concern. Guilt surges through Kara, mixes with her roiling stomach.

Something is wrong. Rao, something is so wrong and it is all slipping through her fingers and breaking.

But she does not want to mess this up for Alex. Can’t mess this up.

“Is something wrong?” Alex reaches out, brushes Kara’s cheek with her thumb. It’s gentle, it’s warm. She doesn’t deserve it. It makes her feel like crying.

Kara shakes her head—too sharp, too fast. The room is reeling, her vision is a little blurry.

“Kara, are you okay?” Alex asks, moves her hands to cup Kara’s face.

Maggie’s still snuggled against the agent, both of them wearing identical concern. It’s too intimate, Kara feels like she’s imposing. She can’t mess this up, can’t mess this up.

“Kara,” Alex says again, eyes boring holes into Kara’s soul.

“I—I don’t feel good.” At least it’s honest.

Alex straightens immediately, untangles herself from Maggie and moves closer. “You can’t get sick, at least you aren’t supposed to. Did-”

“I know,” she heaves in a shaky breath and cuts Alex off, the nausea grows. “I just—I don’t know, Alex. I don’t—I—I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Kara, wait” Alex calls as the blonde stands unsteadily. “Did you blow out your powers or catch an alien virus? Those are a thing, you know.” She follows her sister and the door closes in her face.

The blonde tips her head back against the door, breathes in deep, violent breaths. Holding down the bile rising in her throat until she hears Alex retreat back to the living room. Her churning stomach lurches and she vomits in the toilet with tears burning in her eyes. She heaves and spits for a minute, before flushing and letting her forehead fall against the porcelain.

She hears Maggie offer to stay or leave, “whatever’s best for Kara,” she says; to which Alex responds that it might be best if “Kara has some down time” just the two of the them, while the agent figures out what’s going on, she already has an idea. Is seeing reflections of Kara’s younger, completely heartbroken and destroyed self.

Kara hears Maggie voice her goodbye and kiss Alex’s cheek. Maggie says she hopes Kara feels better and then the door closes softly behind her and Kara is sorry, she’s so sorry, as Maggie’s heartbeat fades as the distance increases and Kara’s senses are full of Alex’s heart and Alex’s breathing. She wanted sister time, but not like this, not with herself ruining Alex and Maggie’s night.

Kara’s so out of it that she startles when Alex returns on the outside of the door, giving a gentle knock. “Kara, come on, let me in,” she prods softly. “Please,” she adds.

Kara rises and has to lean against the counter, hands gripping the granite as she moves to unlock the door. Alex steps in, deep, brown eyes shiny with worry and brows furrowed like they always are when she’s trying to figure something out. “Did you get sick?” she asks and her face is so contorted in concern, Kara feels herself battered with more guilt.

The blonde gives a small nod and her elbow buckles, sends her sinking toward the ground. Alex is at her side in an instant, lowering Kara to the floor until she’s sitting and leaning against the wall.

“I’m going to be right back,” Alex says and sprints off. When she returns she has a glass of water in her hand and nudges it into Kara’s. “Small sips, okay? You can rinse if you need.”

She helps Kara stand again and clean her mouth, wipes Kara’s face with a warm towel and then switches to cool water to dab sweat off the blonde’s hairline. “Come on, let’s lie down and get you to bed.”

Kara wants to fight, wants to tell her sister that she’ll be fine, but words catch in her throat and she finds herself melting into the touch she’s missed for so long. Alex has always had that effect on her.

She helps Kara change, replaces her work clothes with soft pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. Then she lifts the comforter and urges Kara beneath them. “I’ll be back in a sec,” Alex says once Kara is settled in the bed.

She returns moments later with her laptop as well as more water and some crackers, all of which she sets on the nightstand. “Tomorrow we’re getting real food into you, and a trip down to the DEO med wing if you’re still feeling bad.” When she turns around tears are falling from Kara’s eyes and in a second she’s sobbing. “I’m sorry,” she whispers in watery words and a hoarse voice. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Oh God, Kara, what’s going on with you?” Alex stops organizing the nightstand, dropping what she’d been carrying and climbing onto the bed. She brushes hair off Kara’s wet cheeks and pulls her close. “Huh? You’ve been acting weird for weeks and I thought… I thought it wasn’t serious, because you’d come to me if it was. But I was wrong, I should have said something. I should have been there.”

“I di-didn’t want to bother you,” Kara murmurs against Alex’s shoulder. “You’ve be-been so happy with Maggie I didn’t—I didn’t want to take that away from you or be a burden.”

“No, Kara, oh God, no.” Alex tightens her arms around her sister, so they’re pressed together and she can feel Kara’s warm, quick breaths. Not for the first time, she wishes she had Kara’s super strength if only to match the tightness of her hugs, to keep her sister safe. “No, you could never be a burden to me, okay?”

Kara makes a sound of disagreement, shakes her head fiercely.

“Kara, look at me.” Alex pries Kara’s hands from her back, gently lifts her chin. She waits until she meets Kara’s blue, watery eyes. “We are sisters and nothing changes that, _nobody_ changes that. You will never be a burden to me.”

“Okay,” Kara says with a shaky whisper. “Thank you.”

Alex runs a hand through Kara’s hair. “You are the most important person in my life.”

Kara stares back at her, gaze hollow and tormented.

“I want you to say it.”

Kara remains silent and Alex nudges her side. “I’m serious. I need you to say it.”

“You are the most important person in my life,” Kara says and sniffles.

“The other way,” Alex prods.

Kara sighs and drops her gaze. “I am the most important person in your life.”

“There we go,” Alex says with a smile. “And don’t you forget it.”

“ ‘kay,” Kara says, fatigue beginning to slur her words. She slumps down so her face presses against Alex side.

“Want to tell me what’s going on? Or what happened earlier? Are you sick?”

Kara shakes her head and the weigh in her chest returns, she loops her arms around Alex’s middle, wanting to be as close as possible. “Not sick,” she whispers. “Just sad. _Really unbearably_ sad, like before. Like those times.”

Alex nods. “Why?” she asks, curving against Kara and continuing to run her fingers through blonde hair.

“Because everything’s _wrong._ Everything is broken and changing and I can’t keep up, Alex, I can’t. James won’t look at me; and Winn’s being skiddish; and Mon-El and I can’t even talk anymore; and Cat left; and I haven’t heard from Lena in days; and J’onn has M’gann; and you have Maggie; and I’m happy for you, I really _really_ am. I just don’t want to bother you, so I don’t talk to you and I keep myself away. And my family from Krypton is dead. And everyone is gone and I’m alone and I’m scared that I’m going to lose myself again in the Phantom Zone, in my head, in my memories.”

Alex gathers Kara in her arms, pulls her back up. “It’s not gonna happen. Not again, not ever.” She knows they’re both referring to particularly dark months of Kara’s teenage years, when she’d shut down and cry every night and withdraw. When she’d work herself up into the frenzied, haunted state she’s on the verge of footing right now. She’d make herself sick with worry and sobs. Kara’s strong and sunny, but Kara’s also been through a lot, she buries a lot, hides a lot, keeps it closed and locked away until it threatens to destroy her and comes bubbling up.  “Because you’re not alone. You’ve got me and we know how to fix this, how to fight this: together.” Alex slides her fingers between Kara’s. “You’re always going to be my number one, Kara.”

“Thank you,” Kara murmurs, tears dried on her cheeks and words a little more stable than before. She reaches out, curls flings her arms around Alex and burrows into the crook of her neck.

“You’re welcome,” Alex says. “Always, always, always. Your friends and everyone else will come around, they just need time. But even if every other person in the whole entire galaxy—the whole entire _universe—_ left, you’d still have me. You’ve always got me, so don’t ever think you’re alone or you’re a burden for needing help, because you’re not.”

Kara nods. “I love you,” she chokes out.

Alex smiles and rests her cheek on the top of Kara’s head. “I love you so much, sweet girl. More than you’ll ever know.”

Kara shakes her head and Alex can feel a small smile curve across the younger woman’s lips. “I think I do know.”

“Nah,” Alex says and shifts so they’re lying down.

“That’s not fair,” Kara murmurs.

“Yeah it is, I’m your big sister.”

Kara grumbles with a smile on her face and lets her eyes fall closed, nestling against her sister. “I missed you, Lexie,” she whispers.

Alex drops a tear into Kara’s hair, quickly brushes it away and closes her own eyes. “I missed you, too. But I’m here now and I’ve got you, all right? You’re okay. I’ve got you and we’re going to fix this.”

Kara nods, feels sleep tug heavily until she’s floating away to somewhere safe and warm for the first time in weeks. “Okay,” she mumbles and drifts off with her fingers still linked around her sister’s hand; somehow that’s enough. Somehow that is everything.

 

 


	2. You've Got It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara needs more hugs, Alex and Maggie are there.
> 
> aka fluff and angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This trio kills me, honestly. I'm so weak and in love. 
> 
> Thank you all for such a nice response on the first chapter, I hope you enjoy this one just as much.
> 
> Also, come talk to me on twitter!! (I'm @powertodanvers) We can be friends and talk about Supergirl and all that :)

 

Her breath is in her throat when she wakes, silent screams calling out from some dark cavity deep inside her chest. Her senses are smothered by the grasps of dream and she turns, lungs still lurching, aching for breath. She trembles, feels an abysmal sensation of reaching, reaching, reaching.

Gripping her fingers through darkness and smoke until finally— _finally—_ she meets something solid, knuckles colliding with a warm, tangibility in front of her; a gentle weight wrapped around her shaking frame: Alex.

Alex who murmurs in her sleep, instinctively tugging Kara closer, instinctively loosening some of the tightness in her chest, softening the thunder of her heartbeat.

Kara let’s out another warm exhale against Alex’s chest, curls into her and clings. She squeezes her eyes shut. Hard. Nestles against Alex.

The brunette murmurs in her sleep, tugging Kara closer again, and Kara picks up her sister’s words as some slurred and mumbled version of _are you okay?_

 _No,_ she wants to say, feels it choking through her throat and catching on her tongue. _Nothing is okay._ She’s entangled in nightmares that shake her to the core, strip away her sanity and then disintegrate, leaving only dread she can’t place. Dread like murky waters and inky shadow.

Without meaning to, a whimper slips from her mouth and it’s the closest thing to a response she can produce.

“Kara,” Alex whispers, something about the cry rousing the eldest Danvers sister into wakefulness. She props herself up on her elbow. “Kara, are you okay?”

“No,” Kara says, and with the admission from her broken, cracking voice comes some relief to the ache in her bones and burning in her lungs. “No, I’m not,” she cries.

Alex shifts, loosening her grip on Kara and sliding over—intent on turning on the light on her bedside table, when Kara yelps a pitiful ‘no’ at the sudden lack of pressure.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Alex placates and moves back, light already forgotten as she pulls Kara’s shaking frame against her own. “You’re all right, sis, just breathe with me.” Alex thumbs away the tears on Kara’s cheeks. The blonde squirms a little, until she can practically feel Alex’s heartbeat beneath her.

“Good girl, you’ve got it,” Alex says as Kara gets her breathing under control, curling back against Alex with a sigh.

The grasp of nightmare finally breaks, minutes later with a quivering deep breath that heaves its way in and out of Kara’s lungs. She looks up at Alex, eyes no longer glassy behind tears, cheeks flush and warm.

“There she is,” Alex says, caressing Kara’s face and giving her a soft smile.

Instead of reciprocating the smile, Kara keeps looking at Alex, eyes wide and lips tugging downward until she coils forward into Alex’s shoulder in a sudden movement, twisting her fingers around the fabric of Alex’s pajama shirt and holding it tight. Worry tautens in Alex’s stomach, she rubs circles on Kara’s back with one hand and runs the other through blonde hair.

“Wanna talk about it?” Alex asks, even though she already knows the answer.

Kara shakes her head. “I don’t even know how to,” she whispers, a little breathless. “It’s gone. It’s—it’s just this feeling. And I--”

Alex hears Kara’s breath catch in her throat again.

“Shh, it’s okay, Kara. It’s okay…”

Kara nods, focuses on Alex. “I’m really tired.”

“Then go to sleep,” Alex says gently and Kara closes her eyes to the sound of her sister’s heartbeat and the feeling of familiar fingers tangled in her hair.

/

Kara wakes to an empty bed, and there’s a heavy exhaustion deep beneath her eyelids as she shifts and props herself upward. It takes a few seconds for her recognize that she’s in Alex’s apartment and when the previous night’s memories come back a new kind of exhaustion washes over her, strips away another layer of composure.

She drags herself out of bed, toward the kitchen where the scent of pancakes wafts. Even though her stomach makes noise, she doesn’t feel hungry.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Alex says and smiles.

Kara drops into a chair at the counter. “Hey,” she says back, feeling a little bit lighter now that she’s drenched in sunlight seeping through the window and spending time with her sister.

“You want some?” Alex gestures to the growing stack of pancakes on the island.

Before she responds her stomach makes another noise and Alex laughs. “I’m taking that as a yes.”

Kara accepts the plate without protest because she should at least _try_ to eat, if not for herself, then for her sister. She manages a few bites until she’s finished an entire pancake and Alex is smiling at her so widely that Kara tries to eat a second one and even though she only gets four more bites in, she feels better than she has in a long time.

Alex kisses the top of Kara’s head. “What are your plans for the day?”

“I’m going into CatCo for a few hours and then—“

“Kar, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

The blonde nods. “I need it. Sometimes… sometimes it feels like CatCo—like writing—is the only thing keeping me steady.”

Alex feels guilt course through her like ice water. She should have been there sooner for Kara.

The blonde excuses herself a few minutes later and super speeds her way through getting dressed for work, walking into CatCo precisely 3.2 minutes before she’s supposed to be there.

Her day starts relatively well and she’s able to fend off the persistent coil of dread in her stomach for a few hours. But just a little after she reaches the halfway point on her work day things start to fall apart. Snapper sends her to L-Corp for an interview and Kara is more than happy to have the chance to visit her friend. But when she arrives, Lena is trapped in a board meeting and the best Kara gets is a small smile and a mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ through the window of the door. The blonde gets in a quick wave dismissing Lena’s apology and shares her own brief smile before Lena’s attention is pulled away by some old guy in a chair to her right. The CEO gives a small eye roll that only Kara can see and she walks away smirking, despite the fact that she misses her friend more than ever now.

She talks to Jess for a few minutes before disappearing down the hall and out into the streets. The whole experience would have been okay, good even, now that she’s seen Lena and knows the CEO is okay after everything that’s been going on, except when Kara gets back to CatCo she has to endure another series of lectures about her incompetence from Snapper. Then she has to watch as he tears up one of her articles and dumps it in the trash.

She retreats back to her office, swallowing tears and keeping a straight face because she’ll be damned if she lets Cat down in one way or another. And while the building may be physically void of the woman herself, she is still very much present.

Cat had a special word for the feeling aching through Kara, something about ‘millennial dread’ and it makes her laugh even though she wants to cry. Thinking about Cat is dangerous though, when Kara is trying so hard to keep herself together, thinking about anyone that’s left is dangerous at the moment. She squeezes her eyes closed for a second and tries to rid her brain of the list of names that burns behind her eyes.

She manages slowly and painfully through the next two hours, quelling the pain in her chest just enough so it doesn’t morph into outright panic. Then, there’s a series of Supergirl emergencies—sirens calling one after another. In the end everyone survives, but Kara’s distracted and fatigued and she makes mistakes that almost have irrevocable consequences. People die when she’s not focused. She berates herself as she flies away, barely managing a small smile and wave to the crowd that had gathered below.

The smile falls from her lips the second she turns away and takes to tearing through the skies. If she could just go fast enough, she wouldn’t have to feel.

Kara wrestles her phone from the pocket sewn into her super suit with shaking fingers, fumbles through her speed dial as she hovers back into U.S. airspace after circling the globe a few times. The sun is dipping below the horizon from where she hangs in the sky. “Alex, I wanna come home. I want to see you, and Maggie, too.”

“Okay, yeah. We’d love to see you, too. Is something wrong? Is everything okay?”

Kara bites her lip and tears prick in her eyes as she speeds through the air. “Yeah, I know it’s only been a few hours but I just miss you and I’m not feeling great again and I just want to see you before it gets too bad. I don’t want to spiral.”

“Of course. We’ll be here.”

Kara nods, squeezing her eyes closed as she swallows a lump in her throat.

“And Kara?”

“Yeah?” she responds, voice hoarse.

“I’m proud of you for calling. Now stay safe and get here quickly, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you. Fly fast.”

Kara almost— _almost—_ smiles at that. “I love you,” she whispers back and then the line goes dead and she’s alone in the skies.

She lands on the rooftop of Alex’s apartment and changes from her super suit in the stairwell. She’s exhausted as she drags herself down the steps and through the hall, feet heavy and lungs slow—it’s the kind of exhaustion that settles in your bones, gnaws at you from the inside out. As she knocks on Alex’s door she lets her eyes fall closed, feels the vibrations of the city shake through her.

The door opens with a soft creak, but it’s loud in Kara’s pounding head and she flinches before opening her eyes to Maggie’s soft smile. “Hey, Little Danvers.”

“Hi,” Kara mutters as she stumbles in, foot catching on the threshold.

“Easy there,” Maggie says and reaches out, steadying Kara with a hand on each arm. “What’s wrong?”

Kara sees Alex making her way over from the kitchen and shakes her head, but the motion makes the room spin and she presses a hand against her forehead. “Nothing, I’m-“

“Kara,” Maggie says and the gentleness in her voice makes Kara’s heart clench.

“It’s just a headache.” She tries to straighten, brushes off Maggie’s concern as Alex appears at her side.

“And you’re shivering,” Maggie observes, leaning back to scan Kara for any other abnormalities.

“It’s not a big deal,” Kara mutters and she really just wants things to feel normal again, but she’s getting too tired to go through all the motions of pretending.

Alex moves against her side and pulls Kara toward her, taking some of the girl’s weight in her arms. “Kara,” she begins and brushes Kara’s hair behind her ear. “You came home for a reason, let us take care of you.”

“I—okay,” she relents, protest ceasing as Alex rubs her back and Kara feels some of her pain dripping away.

“Maybe a nap might make you feel better?” Maggie suggests, taking note of the dark circles beneath Kara’s eyes and the way her body seemed to sway as she tried to remain upright. Alex nods in agreement at Kara’s side.

“Okay,” she says again and untangles herself from Alex, something is still broken deep inside her.

“You’ll be okay in there?” Alex asks, worrying her lip as she watches Kara’s slow and shaky steps down the hall.

“Yeah,” the blonde says over her shoulder.

Alex follows behind her anyway, makes sure Kara is settled in the bed and snuggled under a few blankets before she gives Kara’s shoulder a squeeze and flicks off the lights. She knows her sister hasn’t been sleeping much lately.

Without bothering to change from her clothes Kara had collapsed into the bed, she presses her face into Alex’s pillow and tries to imagine everything falling away, all the fear coiled in her stomach and the pain in her head and tightness in her chest.

It doesn’t work, and she closes her eyes harder, focuses her super hearing on Alex’s heartbeat. She finds the brunette’s voice instead.

“God, Mags, I’m so worried about her,” Alex says as she moves around the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for dinner. As soon as Kara had called, they’d both taken the rest of the day off and made a quick stop at the grocery store before returning to Alex’s apartment.

“It’ll be okay.” Maggie puts a hand on Alex’s back, turns the agent around so they’re face to face. “Kara’s tough.”

Alex rubs her eyes and sighs. “I know, but even tough people fall to this kind of stuff. I just wish I could help her.”

“Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be with someone.”

“I need to be more than just the best thing, Maggie. I need to be _enough_ for her.” Kara hears Alex’s voice crescendo, her breathing stutter. “Sorry,” she whispers, squeezes her eyes open and closed. “I’m sorry—I just, I hate to see her like this. It makes me feel so bad.”

Kara stops listening and bites her lip, still tears fall from the corner of her eyes. She curls onto her side and turns everything off as best she can.

A sharp cry falls from her lips and she slaps a hand over her mouth in an attempt to suppress the noise. She has to remind herself that she came here for a reason—she came here so Alex and Maggie can help her. She can’t disappear this time. Kara needs help and she needs it soon, because she’s afraid of what might happen if she keeps slipping away.

“It’s okay,” Maggie says and pulls Alex into a hug. “Hey, listen to me, we’re going to work this out, all right? We’re going to fix it.”

Alex nods, in a second any remnants of the tears that had threatened to fall are gone, her cheeks already returning to their natural hue. “Thank you for being so good about this and so good with Kara. She asked for you to be here tonight, she wanted to see you, too.”

Maggie gives a small smile. “I just wish I could be better.”

Alex nods. “You and me both.”

/

“I need to try something different,” Alex says and paces through the kitchen, stirring their red sauce each time she passes. Maggie perches on the counter, swinging her legs. “I need… oh, Eliza! That might help.” A smile pulls across her lips. “I’m going to call my mom,” she says, stepping away from the stove. Maggie slips in and takes her place as Alex moves into the living room.

Kara rolled over in the bed, she’s been footing the edge of sleep for the past hour and a half, flickering in and out of wakefulness and begging for _something_ to change, for something to dislodge the fatigue and anguish that’s somehow seemed to seep through her pores and stick close on her heart.

With a sharp movement she swings her legs over the edge of the bed, feeling hot and sticky in her work clothes. She bypasses the pair of pajamas she leaves here, in favor of pulling on Alex’s sweatpants and t-shirt. It takes a few minutes to change because the thought of using her super speed brings nausea for reasons she can’t explain.

She’s just so tired of it all.

“Hey, feeling any better?” Alex asks when she sees Kara emerge from the bedroom, pajama clad.

Kara nods and it’s not a complete lie, the ache in her head _has_ dulled a bit and she doesn’t feel like the mere act of standing is going to bring her down. She even manages to muster a smile small. It’s getting easier with practice.

“Good,” Alex says and pulls Kara into a quick hug. “There’s only a few minutes before dinner’s ready and Eliza’s on the phone. She wants to talk to you.”

“I’m not really—“

“You don’t have to, Kara, but it would mean a lot. She _really_ misses you.”

Kara takes the phone with a quiet ‘okay’ and disappears back into the bedroom. “Hi, Eliza,” she says softly.

“Hi, sweetie.” Silence falls over them for a few moments and Kara shifts, eyes pointed downward where she toes at the ground. Eliza speaks up again. “I’ve heard you’ve been going through some difficult things and I want you to know that I will always love you, and I’m just a call away if you ever need me.”

Kara curls onto the bed. She wants to cry because Eliza’s voice is so gentle and she has always been so gentle even when Kara was not. “Thanks,” Kara says and sniffles. “I love you, too.” She heaves a shaky breath. “You’re a good mom.”

Eliza smiles. “Thank you, Kara. Do you want to talk about what’s been bothering you?”

Kara shakes her head. “No, not really. But I can tell you about what’s going on at CatCo, if you want to hear about it?”

“I’d love to,” Eliza says.

Thirty minutes pass before Alex goes in search of Kara to tell her dinner’s ready. She pauses, hovering in the entranceway, at the sound of Kara’s laughter spilling forward. It’s such a relief to finally hear that noise, a smile pulls across her features. She’s about to ease away and leave Kara a few more moments with Eliza when the blonde leans to the side and grins at her sister. “Alex, come over here. Eliza just told me the funniest story about Jerimiah and horses.”

Alex grins back and _of course,_ she sits next to Kara as requested, shoulders knocking as she moves down. “Is it the dude ranch one?”

Kara nods eagerly. “How’d you know?”

“ ‘Cause it’s a classic. Plus, I know it’s one of mom’s favorites because I was there.”

“You were?!”

Alex nods. “Yep, six year old me.”

“Riveting.” Kara declares and flops back against the bed. “Is dinner ready?” she asks Alex, who nods in response.

“You ready to eat?”

“Starving!” Kara says, and Alex rolls her eyes at the drama that is her sister. The pair exchanges goodbyes and ‘I love you’s with Eliza before hanging up and sliding off the bed.

“I can’t believe he fell off the horse,” Kara says, shaking her head, clearly still in awe of the story.

“And rolled down the hill,” Alex adds.

“He rolled down the hill?”

“All the way,” Alex says, enjoying the giggles that follow.

“There are my Danvers sisters,” Maggie says with a smile, setting plates full of pasta on the kitchen counter.

“Sorry, Mags, Kara was getting enlightened on our dad’s embarrassing past mistakes.”

“Tell Maggie the story!” Kara says as she sits down, fork already half way to her mouth. It’s the first time in days Alex has seen Kara readily eat. Maybe all she needed was some distraction and some fun to pull her away from her thoughts.

They’re in the middle of cleaning up, despite Maggie and Alex’s insistence that Kara sit, she’s helping out anyway. Alex’s phone rings, a call from the DEO science department with inquiries about some experiment that’s running in the lab. She steps out into the hall for a moment and Maggie catches her wrist, pulls her in for quick kiss before she disappears.

Then it’s just her and Kara, and she can’t help but think of all the things she’s seen over the past week. She can’t help but remember the fear that’d spiked inside her the previous night at the hollowness in Kara’s gaze. The panic that’d tightened in her chest as she’d watched, helpless, while Kara had spiraled.

And before she can help herself, Maggie has Kara pulled into the tightest hug she can manage. “Little Danvers, you have to promise me you’re going to keep coming for help when you need it, okay?”

Kara murmurs in surprise before she reciprocates the embrace and answers the detective’s question. “Yeah, I will.”

“You promise?”

Kara nods. “I promise.”

“Good,” Maggie says, pulling back and smiling one of her big dimple-y smiles.

/

“I had a bad day,” Kara admits later that night when things have calmed down and she’s snuggled on the couch with a movie and her sister. Behind them, Maggie sits at the counter in the kitchen, finishing up paperwork.

“What was bad about it?” Alex asks and turns down the volume on the TV. She feels Kara shrug against her.

“Don’t know. It just sucked.”

Alex gives a sympathetic hum and wraps an arm against Kara, squeezing her close. “Well, tomorrow should be better.”

“Yeah, maybe. I got yelled at by Snapper and almost messed up as Supergirl, but I did go get to visit Lena.”

The inflection of Kara’s voice tells Alex that the blonde wants her sister to ask more. “And?”

“She was in a meeting, but I waved? I don’t know, she’s a good person.” Kara nestles into Alex’s shoulder and this time Alex can tell she’s done talking about it.

“You’re a good person, too,” Alex whispers, brushing her hands through Kara’s tangled hair. Kara doesn’t say anything, just lets herself melt into Alex’s gentle touch.

The blonde hears Maggie shut her laptop, hears sock-clad feet pad toward the couch until the detective comes into view and plops beside Kara. The blonde makes a move to stand up, feeling guilty for taking the space between her sister and her sister’s girlfriend, but Maggie puts a hand on Kara’s leg and shakes her head.

“Stay, Little Danvers, it’s okay. We’ll survive, Alex and I have spent _many_ night _very_ close to each other to make up for it.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Alex and grins.

“ _Mags,”_ Alex hisses, flinging a pillow at the detective and throwing her hands up.

“Sorry,” Maggie says, not looking sorry at all as she laughs.

Kara makes a face and buries her head in Alex’s shoulder, but the brunette can feel her smiling. “So tired,” she murmurs and closes her eyes as Alex resumes stroking her hair.

“Go to sleep, Little Danvers,” Maggie says, her fingers lock with Alex’s free hand and fall across Kara’s waist.

Kara’s next words are unintelligible as she snuggles against her sister and feels the warmth of the detective on her right side. Kara sniffles a little, slipping deeper into the grasps of sleep as the movie and voices of Alex and Maggie mingled and fade. She’s not okay, not yet, at least. But for the first time in so long, she’s thinks she will be.

Sleep welcomes her easily that night, holds her warm and safe. But nothing could ever keep her warmer than the two women she’s wedged between, holding hands over her exhausted frame and holding her together.


End file.
